If older folks think kids today don't show enough respect, they may only have themselves to blame, suggests a USA Today article by Sharon Jayson (6/20/06). "Raised by parents who stressed individualism and informality, these young people grew up in a society that is more open and offers more choices than in their parents' youth, says child and adolescent psychologist David Verhaagen ... So they dress down, talk loose and reveal their innermost thoughts online." Stir in total immersion in technologies, and they don't think it's the least bit rude to be "talking on a cellphone, IM-ing somebody, playing Xbox or having three or four parallel conversations" while "maybe ignoring someone else sitting in the same room.

Someone else like maybe a parent, an adult or anyone who maybe deserves a little more ... well, respect. "Our generation just is not raising our kids the way our parents did," says Beth Nelson, 45. "I think there's a difference between respect and formality. You can be casual and show appropriate levels of respect." True enough, but it seems kids today pretty much don't care. Psychology professor Jean Twenge has analyzed surveys of a total of 40,745 young people taken between 1958 and 2001 that included questions such as "I never forget to say 'please' or 'thank you'" and found kids today are a lot less concerned about the social approval that tends to go along with being polite.

"They seem to have a lot of trouble with the concept of putting your best foot forward," says Arcadia Conrad, 33, who interviews students for Vassar College, and was appalled when one of her candidates showed up in "flip flops and a miniskirt and her hair still wet." Sounds like Vassar material to me. But still. Such generational tension actually is not limited to Americans; it's a problem in the U.K., too. But Tony Blair (stoner rock musician turned Prime Minister) thinks he has a solution: "This year he outlined a Respect Action Plan ... an updated version of his 1997 Anti-Social Behaviors" which imposes fine and punishments for bad behaviour and also "aims to have parents take more responsibility for children's behaviour." M.I.T. sociologist Sherry Turkle thinks eventually everything will work out once everyone grows up: "We'll settle down and have greater civility and care," she says. ~ Tim Manners, editor