No Thanks

What used to be common courtesy may be just the opposite in a digital society, writes Nick Bilton in The New York Times (3/11/13). The reason, says Nick is that “many social norms just don’t make sense to people drowning in digital communication.” Consider, for example, the “thank you” email. The sender may see it as part of the fabric of civility, but to the recipient, it’s just a waste of precious time. As no less an authority than Daniel Post Senning, Emily Post’s great-grandson, observes: “At what point does … showing appreciation outweigh the cost?”

It’s a digital divide that’s largely generational, and one that can be disturbing to older folks because, as Daniel notes, “it gives the impression that digital natives can’t be bothered to nurture relationships.” Voicemail may also be turning into “an impolite way of trying to connect with someone,” Nick writes. “Think of how long it takes to get access to your voice mail and listen to one of those long-winded messages … And then there are the worst offenders of all: those who leave a voice mail message and then e-mail to tell you they left a voice mail message.”

Other digital-age offenses include “asking someone for directions to a house, restaurant or office, when they can easily be found on Google Maps.” The quick response for some is lmgtfy.com, “which stands for Let Me Google That For You.” As Baratunde Thurston of Cultivated Wit puts it: “It’s almost too easy to not think before we express ourselves, because expression is so cheap, yet it often costs the receiver more.” Or, as Nick concludes: “Here’s hoping that politeness never goes out of fashion, but that time-wasting forms of communication do.”