From: Jordan Bochanis <jordan_bochanis@brzoom.com>
Date: Fri, 15 Feb 2002 06:52:39
To: Tim Manners <editor@reveries.com>
Subject: HEY, THIS ISN'T THE X-GAMES!
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This may sound very un-American of me, but I have no interest in watching the Olympics.
At a time when I should be participating in anything that allows me to chant U-S-A, U-S-A, from a La-Z-Boy parked in front of a projection TV, I find that there's something missing from these Winter Games.
It's drama.
And drama, after all, is what makes for great Olympics. Whether it's the Nazis or the Soviets, the most memorable Olympic moments revolved around us triumphing over our enemies in the name of sport. And, like an aging mobster lamenting the days when criminals had "honor," we are at war with a maniac fringe group with no love of team sports and no uniforms.
Face it, since the collapse of the Soviet Union, the winter Games just haven't been the same.
Sure, competing against nations who pose a nuclear threat to us isn't the only opportunity for an infusion of some lively sport. I'd be satisfied with the berserk rivalries and dissolute private lives of the salty figure skaters that we've had in the past, (paying hitmen to take out competitors, getting arrested for drunk driving and running off with managers older than your dad may have shocked some sports fans, but have you spent time hanging out around an ice rink in the U.S.? It’s a wonder these gals haven't turned out worse.) But, alas, we don't even have that.
From the suspicious characters who make up the Olympic organizing committee (they just look guilty of taking advantage of something, don't they?), to arcane sports like "curling" and that other wacky sport where you're supposed to ski with a loaded gun on your back, shoot at something and then do something else (okay, scratch that, I kind of like that sport), it seems like the Olympics are just so…old.
Unless we're going to drag our prisoners from Guantanamo Bay to Salt Lake City, give them skates and sticks, and put them on the ice against our hockey team, I'd rather watch some 'boarder catching big air.
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I know, I know, it's tradition -- but the Aztecs used to play Jai-Alai with a decapitated human head, and you don't hear a bunch of grumbling about tradition at Jai-Alai Frontons these days.
And, for an event referred to as games, most of the advertising by Olympic sponsors has nothing to do with fun.
I saw a survey that said given a choice, teenagers would rather watch the X-Games than the Olympics. I couldn't agree more. Unless we're going to drag our prisoners from Guantanamo Bay to Salt Lake City, give them skates and sticks, and put them on the ice against our hockey team, I'd rather watch some 'boarder catching big air.
So what did the Olympics do to add a little youthful relevance (and ratings) to this year's winter yawn-fest? They turned to American youth's real Olympics, the X-Games and added…snowboarding!
That's right, when there's no blood rivalries, turn to the formula that works so well for "extreme" sports: watching guys attempt really sick tricks!
So far, it's paid off. Not only has snowboarding become the most-watched event, it's become the most successful event for the U.S. so far (what did you expect form the country that invented the word "dude?").
Now let's just hope that those old dudes from the IOC don't go and ruin snowboarding.
Unless they decide to add a loaded weapon to snowboarding, too.
Then maybe those armed skiers could shoot at the armed snowboarders!
Cool.
Now that's extreme sports, dude.
Jordan Bochanis is Concept Director of Bochanis, Rogan, Zoom, a marketing services agency with offices in Connecticut and Louisiana. He may be reached via email at jordan_bochanis@brzoom.com
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