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From: Jordan Bochanis <jordan_bochanis@brzoom.com>
Date: Wed, 22 May 2002 07:23:37
To: Tim Manners <editor@reveries.com>
Subject: HOLLYWOOD CONTROLS THE WEATHER!

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It seems that what many people have already suspected is true; the earth's seasonal calendar is controlled by a group of influential movie moguls in Hollywood!

Able to bring about an early summer with the nod of their powerful heads, make Christmas disappear from December and reappear in November -- or just take the common weekend and make it start on Thursday -- these mortal deities are wreaking havoc on the world's seasonal holidays.

Yes, powerless consumer, your year is in their hands!

Let me explain.

Just as the controversial Greenhouse Effect influences the global climate by trapping man-made pollutants to create global warming, the Hollywood-made "Packedhouse Effect" traps movie-goers in theaters during untraditionally early pre-Memorial Day times to create a warm feeling in the hearts (and bottom lines) of the movie studios.

This year, two big "summer" films, Spider-Man and Star Wars Episode 2 were released to record-breaking box office before any respectable Northeasterner had his short sleeve shirts out of mothballs. The forecast for next year? Look for a long holiday movie season followed by no spring -- and then a slew of summer feature film releases starting in March!

But what does all this mean to our retail environment?

It's simple.

The earlier and earlier summer blockbusters get released, the earlier and earlier their promotional partners will begin their summer selling season. Before you know it, POS featuring the pastel Easter M&M being pulled in a sled by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is hanging in Kroger's and kids are confused as hell!

Suddenly, "non-important" months are missing from our Harry Potter calendars, replaced by new, retail-friendly, 90-day periods like "Octembuary."

Soft drink displays complete with beach towels, coolers and the big summer blockbuster tie-in are found next to displays featuring snow shovels and rock salt. Moms are tripping over an assortment of Back-to-School, Halloween and Thanksgiving promotional standees on their way to buy lighter fluid for their 4th of July barbecue!

Suddenly, "non-important" months are missing from our Harry Potter
calendars, replaced by new, retail-friendly, 90-day periods like "Octembuary."

The world as we know it is about to be thrown into certain chaos. Employers will change the start of the workweek to Saturday (after all the new movie-going weekend starts on Wednesday and you wouldn't want to risk missing Austin Powers 3 on opening night).

The Sabbath will be changed to Tuesday (just to show who's in charge here), and any religious holiday that does happen to fall on an opportune date will be turned into a high-traffic selling "window." Somewhere, right now, a confectionery marketer is busy working on a cute, collectible, Rosh Hashanah plush goat for an FSI to take advantage of the slow, post-"Back To School" retail period.

So, this fall, when you're asked to turn your clock back six hours for the new daylight super-savers time, you'll know who's responsible.

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Jordan Bochanis is Concept Director of Bochanis, Rogan, Zoom, a marketing services agency with offices in Connecticut and Louisiana. He may be reached via email at jordan_bochanis@brzoom.com

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